An Interview with Clutter

Let's give Clutter a voice today and hear what it has to say.

  1. "I love it when you get busy. You leave me alone and I can stay, undisturbed, for as long as I like."

  2. "This top shelf is the best place to live, EVER. No one ever sees me up here and I can hang out with Spider, Dust, and Cobweb, my favorite buddies."

  3. "Under the bed is like the Bermuda Triangle. It's hilarious to see how much stuff my homeowner can cram under here and not even remember it later."

  4. "One of my greatest inventions? Plastic grocery bags. Oh my word, they are the best. These people think they can use them to store everything! And they can't see what's in them, and they trap moisture and hold nasty bacteria from dirty gym clothes and food leftovers that kids put in them. It's awesome."

  5. "One of my most effective tricks is throwing my voice. It's hilarious to watch the affect I have on women. They walk past me on the desk or countertop or in the guest room, and I sing out, 'When are you going to deal with meeeeeeeeee?' as they walk by. You can see the poor woman actually sigh and drop her shoulders! It's a kick in the pants."

  6. "This is a good one. I just stare at the homemaker in the face and say, "I'm perfectly good. You might need me someday." And they let me stay!

  7. "I just learned this one a few years ago. I hang in the closet near the back and chant: Someday! Someday! You'll be able to wear me someday! I've hung out in closets for years, as a result."

  8. "My most powerful tool? Guilt. All I have to do is wave the magic memory wand and once the lady remembers her mother gave her the ugly figurine of the dancing frog, she feels helpless and can't bear to get rid of it because her mother gave it to her. Years ago. When she used to like frogs."

  9. "When it comes to paperwork, all I have to do is whisper, 'But what if it's important?' That's it! That's all I have to do, and the paper gets stuffed into a file labeled TO BE FILED and it stays. Isn't that crazy?"

  10. "The most fun is my ability to convince women that if they buy containers, label makers, sticky notes, hanging file boxes, and baskets, that I'll go away. I don't go away, I just get crisp new labels and spiffy, stylish places to live!"

Who needs that kind of crazy?

You're in charge of your home and all the stuff in it. If you need help figuring out why stuff is saying any of the statements above, it's time to take a look at the vision you have for your home and the life you intend to live.

I can help. Others can help.

You can have a home that fits your perfectly, that reflects your heart and supports your life. And today is a good day to begin.

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